Let's hear it for the Dads!

It’s International Father’s Mental Health Day

and such an important day to focus these important papas. Particularly right now💙 ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Did you know that Dads can also experience depression and anxiety during the process of having a baby? 1 in 10 Dads will have depression when having a baby, and roughly 1 in 6 will develop an anxiety disorder. (Even higher up to 50% if his partner is also experiencing a perinatal mental health diagnosis!) ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Unfortunately men often go undiagnosed and untreated because of stigma and shame but also because rarely anyone asks him how he is doing. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Dads also get exhausted, face sleep deprivation, changes to their identity and self-esteem and often feel quite isolated and alone. It can be normal to see men either retreat inward after having a baby, start drinking more, become increasingly more angry, or turn to work or other distractions if having a hard time. Men can also experience mental health issues during infertility, pregnancy loss, adoption, surrogacy, etc and similarly, are not often asked how they are faring. And even more so when you’re experiencing stress, and this is a time of significant stress. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ And gay dads and moms can experience depression and anxiety too, in fact we’re seeing more and more research about the impact on our same sex parents as well. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Postpartum.net is a great place to start, for help, with good tips for Dads, a helpline and even online Dads support chat with a fatherhood expert.  If you’re in the San Diego area, postpartumhealthalliance.org is a good place to find a provider. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Let’s keep talking about this, get partners help too and address the stigma that these men face. Let’s start by asking him how he’s doing! 💙 ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀  

And for those of you who had a hard time this Father's Day:

And for those of you who had a tough time this week leading up to Father’s Day, you’re in my heart. I found this precious photo looking for the superhero girl pic I posted a few days ago, and it undid me for a bit. Father’s Day is hard for me for several reasons but particularly because I really miss my Dad who we lost a few years ago. We were really close and it tends to be a tough holiday for me. He was my superhero, and is deeply missed. I initially wasn’t going to share but I know that many feel similarly. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ To those of you are missing and grieving your Dads, I see you. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ To those of you who have difficult relationships with your fathers, and this holiday brings up so many mixed feelings or revisits old wounds, I see you. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ To those of you yearning to still be a father (or see your partner become a dad) and this time reminds you of that empty ache, I see you. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ For lesbian mamas who feel erased and unrepresented by this holiday, I see you. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Or maybe it’s a mixed bag for you...perhaps part of you grieves a loss while you still honor another Dad in your life. It can get complicated, eh? ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ For those amazing dads who get to be celebrated and loved, I am so glad there is a day to honor you, and so grateful there are great daddies around the world. I certainly had one and am so lucky I did. I really hope you got to enjoy your day💜 ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ And for those of us who had a bit of a harder time this week, please be kind of yourself. Honor your heart and notice what you might need. Sending you lots and lots of love. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀